Monday, November 30, 2009

Thanks A Lot But Now What?

“How beautiful is youth! how bright it gleams with its illusions, aspirations, dreams! Book of Beginnings, Story without End, Each maid a heroine, and each man a friend!”
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Youth is wonderful! Those dreams you hold are still considerable possibilities for you. You still have the blissful ignorance of truth and you deem nothing to be impossible. However, as you age and get kicked out of your parents house(some never do), you begin to find out the reality of your situation. You have to let go of little pieces of your dreams... I really wanted to be a superhero that could cure any sickness...okay that's not going to happen I will settle for being a world renowned doctor...okay maybe not world renowned...okay too costly maybe a nurse,that is still helping people...you know what I have a family now and I need to focus on my kids, use my savings for their dreams instead. With that another dream just died in one of the common everyday people of the world. Do not get too down though compromising(a pretty word for settling) is part of the world, it ensures that no one goes home being totally happy or satisfied, but it also ensures that no one go home completely obliterated and depressed either(that's the good part!).

I am currently at that point in my life where dreams are getting further from my reach.(Not that it ever seemed likely that I would touch them anyway, it is still sad though) I have no money for colleage and I no longer know what to do with my life. I considered being a nurse, but when I told my family they laughed and said I wouldn't be "good" for that career because it involves taking care of people. I suppose they know me best and I do not want to agree with them but I do not believe a pessimist will do a bang up job of cheering a sick person up. I am considering political science as a major, but come on politics and government and the economy might be fun to learn about(just a tiny bit), having a career in that field though would give me a headache and probably make my hair turn white early. ( I refuse to dye my hair) I have even considered more "advanced careers", like wind or computer engineering. I would have liked my job to be more active though which is why I considered nursing in the beginning. Sitting at a desk or staring at whirly machines every day for hours would drive me bouncy. I am bouncy and bubbly at my current job because I like it there or used to. The peope are fun and entertaining and it is more laid back. I get to move around when the resturant is busy and relax and maybe sit and clean or talk when it is not. My resturant is not very busy usually. I honestly though can not make a living off minimum wage at a fast food place(plus it gets creepy if I work there until I am 40). I wouldn't be able to pay off my colleage loans interest rate so by the time I got out of colleage I would owe a fortune. I would then live in a crappy appartment and work at a crappy job with a little bit better pay or probably more than one crappy job, while I desperately searched for a career in my field that would make my life and all my hard work worth something(to me at least). And that is it, there goes all my hopes and dreams out the window and into the heaping black hole that threatens to swallow our entire being each day we are alive. What is life for and why work this hard to achieve pretty much nothing. This question is better left ignored otherwise that hole can suck you in. The happy people ignore it, be like them, it is usually best.

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