In the beginning it didn't matter,
Now I couldn't be sadder.
When I thought you were gay,
Everything was okay,
Not anymore, Today
---Cause---
You drive me insane,
But I hold on despite the pain.
You ended my laughter,
So much for my ever after.
I know you're no good,
I'd forget you if only I could.
When you left with no goodbye,
It turned my life into a lie,
Almost felt like I'd die.
---Cause---
You drive me insane,
Yet I hold on despite the pain.
you end my laughter,
So much for my ever after
It's been so long,
Since you've been gone.
I'm winning the fight,
But I still can't see the light,
You left a never ending night.
( slows down drawn out)
---Because---
You drive me insane,
But I will let go despite the pain.
I'm moving on to a greener pasture,
So I can have an ever after.
I don't want you,
I found someone new.
You're not the one I'll kiss,
You're not the one I'll miss,
Goodbye forever ______.
(quietly,fading out)
You use to drive me insane,
Then I let go of the pain.
And moved on to a new chapter,
In a happy ever after.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Bet...
I made a bet a while back and seeing as I am almost regaining my sanity the qualifications set for this bet to take effect have been met. Damn. So if that Prince Charming guy I liked was single and I was single and my friend had a boyfriend (all these things happening at the same time, no way), but now apparently they have and i will have to ask this guy in which I do not even see at all anymore to (to be blunt) screw me. So I am not going to text or call because it brings it right up to rejection. I have decided if the fates set this all up then they can go a little further...and then the next time I meet with him in person somewhere, I will ask him to his face, hopefully I will be extremely drunk (He probably will be). Hopefully. It will be less embarrassing then. When/if I ever do this I am going to feel like such a creeper, I really do not want to do it.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Laugh If You Want (not like I'll know)
"Though lovers be lost love shall not."
Dylan Thomas
I have lost undeniably, but it shouldn't matter. It shouldn't be like this. I hardly knew him and yet...he is gone. I am nothing to him and never was, never will, though I still feel the loss. A dull hollow ache that makes me feel empty inside. Sadness befalls me at his thought and my eyes start to tear, yet I never cry. In his presence he made life more than what it is; more lively, more exciting, just more. Then he left. His illusions faded and I was left in tedium. I seeked him out in my mind to help me get by but it only made it worse. I griped him tightly. However, the grip faltered and fell with time. Holding hope still hurts, but reality is dawning. I see a glimpse of light, then the lunar ecipse plunges my world into night. He tortures me with his appearence and leaves me in renewed agony. I am left wading through a shallow pool whose tides rise and fall in anger and misery, seeking release because it is impossible to drown in its depths.
Really bad attempt at poetic writing.(ewwwkkkeeek) Scattered metaphors and overdramatized.Sorry.
Dylan Thomas
I have lost undeniably, but it shouldn't matter. It shouldn't be like this. I hardly knew him and yet...he is gone. I am nothing to him and never was, never will, though I still feel the loss. A dull hollow ache that makes me feel empty inside. Sadness befalls me at his thought and my eyes start to tear, yet I never cry. In his presence he made life more than what it is; more lively, more exciting, just more. Then he left. His illusions faded and I was left in tedium. I seeked him out in my mind to help me get by but it only made it worse. I griped him tightly. However, the grip faltered and fell with time. Holding hope still hurts, but reality is dawning. I see a glimpse of light, then the lunar ecipse plunges my world into night. He tortures me with his appearence and leaves me in renewed agony. I am left wading through a shallow pool whose tides rise and fall in anger and misery, seeking release because it is impossible to drown in its depths.
Really bad attempt at poetic writing.(ewwwkkkeeek) Scattered metaphors and overdramatized.Sorry.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Love Is Creepy! (I have proof)
Wuthering Heights
Emily Bronte
"1. When Cathy marries Edgar "Girly-Boy" Linton instead of him, Heathcliff vows to take revenge on Edgar and his family ( because obviously Cathy had nothing to with it. Ahem). Heathcliff sees his opportunity when he finds out Edgar's sister has a mad crush on him. He quickly seduces her, strangles her little dog just because that's how dating went back in those days (or maybe I misunderstood), and starts treating her like a servant the instant he marries her. Good times.
2.When the son of that union turns out to be even more sickly and whiny and incredably annoying than even his Uncle Edgar, Heathcliff basically torments the boy into an early grave(although frankly, we can't blame him for that. Heathcliff's son could possibly be the most irritating character in all of literature).
3.Speaking of graves, when Cathy dies, Heathcliff tries to dig up her body so he can sleep next to it all night. And he tells himself that if he wakes up and finds her stiff and cold, he'll just pretend it's because the wind is particularly icy that night. Ewww. Let's leave the body where it is, shall we, lover boy?"
-A New Dawn by Ellen Hopkins
Page 143
Review any love song or romance novel and if you really listen and look, you will find creepy stalker loser men or obsessive creepy stalker women in them. Def Leopard... thanks but I do not really want you to always be two steps behind. EVERYWHERE I GO!(Think about it).
Emily Bronte
"1. When Cathy marries Edgar "Girly-Boy" Linton instead of him, Heathcliff vows to take revenge on Edgar and his family ( because obviously Cathy had nothing to with it. Ahem). Heathcliff sees his opportunity when he finds out Edgar's sister has a mad crush on him. He quickly seduces her, strangles her little dog just because that's how dating went back in those days (or maybe I misunderstood), and starts treating her like a servant the instant he marries her. Good times.
2.When the son of that union turns out to be even more sickly and whiny and incredably annoying than even his Uncle Edgar, Heathcliff basically torments the boy into an early grave(although frankly, we can't blame him for that. Heathcliff's son could possibly be the most irritating character in all of literature).
3.Speaking of graves, when Cathy dies, Heathcliff tries to dig up her body so he can sleep next to it all night. And he tells himself that if he wakes up and finds her stiff and cold, he'll just pretend it's because the wind is particularly icy that night. Ewww. Let's leave the body where it is, shall we, lover boy?"
-A New Dawn by Ellen Hopkins
Page 143
Review any love song or romance novel and if you really listen and look, you will find creepy stalker loser men or obsessive creepy stalker women in them. Def Leopard... thanks but I do not really want you to always be two steps behind. EVERYWHERE I GO!(Think about it).
Friday, December 4, 2009
Empty
"The dark feelings you hold inside only attract more of their kind."
-Courtney Elizabeth Sater
I want something to happen. I am stuck again and I can't help but to be overwhelmed by the sticky plague of depression. The more I struggle to find delight in my days the more I am stuck and waves of emptiness wash over me. I want to find a meaning for everything or at least something interesting to do, something different than what I do every other day. You can only hang out with friends at night and drink 4 times before it loses any kind excitement. Parties are boring. Game-nights are just a clever disguise for more drinking, and school and work are just tedious unwanted tasks. I want an adventure. I want to vandalize those cars in front of my house that have took my parking space and my sisters. Tacks, a bat, sticky gunk on the windows, peanut butter, a permenant marker, a car pen, a tow truck, a crappier car that I wouldnt mind totaling, are all too tempting ideas that I wish I were brave enough to do or at least I wish I had the supplies so that I could do it or try to. Keep it real, I am tired of writing to no one and honestly I can not think single thought at the momment, my mind is blank, empty. Just like me.
-Courtney Elizabeth Sater
I want something to happen. I am stuck again and I can't help but to be overwhelmed by the sticky plague of depression. The more I struggle to find delight in my days the more I am stuck and waves of emptiness wash over me. I want to find a meaning for everything or at least something interesting to do, something different than what I do every other day. You can only hang out with friends at night and drink 4 times before it loses any kind excitement. Parties are boring. Game-nights are just a clever disguise for more drinking, and school and work are just tedious unwanted tasks. I want an adventure. I want to vandalize those cars in front of my house that have took my parking space and my sisters. Tacks, a bat, sticky gunk on the windows, peanut butter, a permenant marker, a car pen, a tow truck, a crappier car that I wouldnt mind totaling, are all too tempting ideas that I wish I were brave enough to do or at least I wish I had the supplies so that I could do it or try to. Keep it real, I am tired of writing to no one and honestly I can not think single thought at the momment, my mind is blank, empty. Just like me.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Mommentum
Alan Cohen:
"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."
"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."
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